(Time Warp: This originally written in 2004, found it on my old server and thought i'd post it here.) 
 
Well, I've been trying to eat healthy lately, and so far, i have to say so good. I do have my bad days where I go and grab a burger or something. But, all in all, i'm doing rather well at keeping the weight off. And once I get my butt to the gym, I'll be even better! 
 
I tend to work late here at Ambrosia, and thusly most of my shopping is done once i leave the office. This usually puts me around midnight or later I go into the stores. During my shopping excursions, there are very few other customers out so you get to look things over and pass the time by just trying to find the most horrific thing you can.  
 
So, back to the topic title. The Breakfast from Hell. In my recent grocery stroll i found myself in the frozen food isle, rounding near the frozen meals (which I never buy) i saw a name that sort of stood out. 
 
The Hungry-Man "All Day Breakfast". 
 
 
An All day breakfast ya say? What might that be? Over 1LB of food is says across the front of the package... Well, i'm a large guy, let me see what we have here.  
 
The “nutritional” information of this beast: 1,030 calories, 570 from fat; 64 grams of fat (98% of your daily dose); 2,090 milligrams of sodium (87%); and a whopping 690 milligrams of cholesterol, or 231% of the upper-limit any sane person would consume in an entire day, all in one meal! But, if offers you 17% of your daily fiber, I can only assume that this is achieved by eating the box itself. 
 
See for yourself! 
 
 
I believe I might be safe in making this overly generalized statement: This is perhaps the single most deadly processed microwave “meal” ever to grace supermarket shelves. 
 
For a better and more humorous look a this waste line destroyer, here is a rather funny article  
http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0744/ 

Posted by: John Champlin

it was recently noticed that there are a great deal of elderly people who still get up every morning, poor a cup of coffe and read their morning paper, though this paper is a digital edition of their local news on their shiny elegant Mac computer. 
 
All these people using a computer and hardly any games made for this almost untapped demographic. So, with that logic; Up next from Ambrosia: 
 
"IN MY DAY..." The Game.  
 
A massive multiplayer online roll player that has the power of polydent, and the compassion of Matlock. Choose your characters and jump, or hobble , into a world where the punk kids actually learn from your wisdom!  
 
42 slow paced levels offer you a world that is as amazing as you once remember it! Or would remember it if you took your pills!  
 
Play as the guy on the park bench feeding the pigeons, while complaining to no one in ear shot! 
 
The Woman calling to her cat to come in for dinner, yet she has no cat!  
 
Choose the right pills to take, with or without glasses mode, for added excitement! 
 
Sit and play the slot machine for hours and hours, and take up 15 chairs at once! 
 
Patiently sit by the phone waiting for your kids to call!  
 
There is even a driving level, with life like see through Knuckle action! 
 
This game is sure to make you a hit at the old folks home and maybe just maybe score some of that street cred the grand kids kept goin' on about a while back. 
 
That's Right, old people are putting their dentures in to yell...  
 
"It's not that bad, but it's too much.. I'm on a fixed Income!" 
 
 
 
"What? a video game? On the nintendo computer? Oh... i don't know about that". 
 
 
 
"If My cat likes it, then I love it!" 
 
 
 
 
"WHO ARE YOU??? HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE!!! NURSE!!! NURSE!!! 
 

Posted by: John Champlin

Well, I had posted a while back that my desire to start seeing the world once the snow melted had begun. This is also about the time that gas started to be created by using liquid gold, for that is the only logical reason that a price could jump so high, so quickly. It's shocking to see that if you compare the cost of flying to a destination, it actually seems cheaper than driving your own car there! Though, doing this you miss out on what truly makes vacations what they are suppose to be. And by that I mean, long periods of time in a hot car, with the windows rolled down, waving your hand into the humid air like and airfoil, tuning into random radio stations as you trek across america. Of course with today's amenities you have the nice AC keeping you cool, and iPod playing your home library even though you are 500 miles from the comfort of your living room.

I have done a few road trips here and there. Niagara Falls, a few parks and sites out of the way. Treks to new parts of the country, and even a chance to see the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time. I did manage to kick off the spring with a rather impressive venture to the Windy City. That's right Chicago, and for those that know me, you will be surprised that I have never actually been to that city before. I have driven near it, through it, and due to the intense traffic it has, around it. But, never taken the time to actually visit the city itself and to see it's sites. I should start off right now saying this, and it will completely color everything else you read from here on out, that I really do love it. Maybe it was just being in that big of a city, or the fact that it was pretty flying in. Something made it a cool place. Of course the fact the first stop we went to, without even going to the hotel was the Field Museum, didn't hurt the start of a good day.

I absolutely love museums, i originally was hoping to take a career path that would put me in one. Be it artifact restoration, museum curatorship, or maybe just something along the lines of Indiana Jones. The Museum was an elegant marble structure that had the hustle and bustle of groups of school children, the hot dog venders, and families outside. Inside the structure was just how a museum should be, large and awe inspiring, and something to look at from the start of it. Inside you can find a pair of full sized African Elephants, two totem poles towering to the sky, and something that made me really smile; Sue, the largest and most complete(90%) Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton currently in existence. it's probably one of the moments the rush of childhood comes back at you.



Continuing through the museum we trekked through the native american displays, spearheads, pottery, carvings, and thousands of other things wishing that my camera had continued to work. Animals stuffed and placed in displays to show the vast difference that life has taken on this big blue ball of rock and water. One of the most impressive things I had seen was the Man Eaters of Tsavo. As made famous from their Infamous past by the movie the Ghost and the Darkness, staring Val Kilmer, and Michael Douglas. I had read the book, and seen the film, and was impressed how the pair of lions had done so much damage to the forward movement of the english colonization of Africa. 140 people at least were killed by the pair, and construction stopped completely of the train bridge.



Moving to the Egyptian presentation, climbing around and through a full structure made me remember everything I had hoped to do when I was 12 and re-watching Indiana Jones for the bazillionth time. Phenomenal artifacts, jewelery, sarcophagies and a slew of mummies that really was impressive. I could have spent most of the day in that area and been quite happy. Not enough time in the day to see the full museum, and we made the most of it!

The rest of the evening was going to be spent at something that was equally as amazing, and just what the Road Trip addiction needed.

Looptopia! This celebration was being held in Chicago's most historic neighborhood known worldwide as "the Loop". Showcasing some of the best and most dynamic of Chicago's artistic and cultural communities was going to last for 14 solid hours! Buildings on top of buildings houses music, dance, discussions readings, visual art, theatrical presetations and a zillion other things to capture the fun life happening in an exciting city! The real trick was to find the not-main stream items and venues. The Subculture, the art and music that wasn't sitting next to starbucks and urban outfitters.

We decided to check out the Chicago Underground Art School's party happening in an amazingly ornate ball room which seemed like it would house 16th century french royalty rather than the crowd I saw there. The event was being billed as Looptopia's late night creation station and experimental fun fair. If you were into crafts or art or anything creative this was the place to go! The trick was to know someone who could get you in, and that is where the amazing ability of friends come into play! Thankfully, Olaf managed to get us into this party, as his brother is in a rather impressive band that goes by the name "Vicarious", who performed sporatically throughout the night. Consisting of a vastly unique and visually different characters the band played some rather impressive original and covers that i thought were really rather impressive.

As for the party itself... There are tables full of craft items as people danced in rythm to the amazing music or watched the performances of belly dancers (and for the first time i actually saw a male Belly Dancer, and believe it or not, he had the best moves and rythm than all the others!).



The tables had Cut-Stitch fashion, where they offered tables full of fabric and sewing machines to do what you wanted with. Many people were using the felt to create buttons and pins to share with others.
An Entire table with cameras, laptops and props to help those who wanted to make animation.
A table full of jewels, glitter, and glue to help create the perfect mask to go with the event, or to join in on the photo fashion shows. A screen printing station to print on fabrics and shirts, as well as the abilty to paint on canvas and paper! Perhaps one of the most unique tables was the Collage table, where they had you Cut and Past magazines into wonderous works of art. Quite possibly the most favorite table of many as the floor quickly became consumed with people questing for space to spread out their glorious magazines and paste away. By the end of the evening the floor looked as if a confetti company had vomited up everywhere.
Truly was a site for those that love to do crafts. And to be honest, I don't know if Lux will ever be able to keep me happy again with craft night.

We lasted way into the night, the bars closed, and the bands dwindled. Eventually we decided to leave because the next day would find us busy with the Wedding of friends.

The next day we took the time to get all dressed up. Actually, my outfit for the wedding was rather impressive if I do say so myself. I really was excited to get it as I was looking for one for some time. The suit is a three button, Silk, Bold Black with bright white vertical pinstripes custom tailored suit with chameleon coat fabric lining (green to red transition). Thin style cut lapels but with an Italian bi-cut style trim in the back of the coat. A solid black vest with subtle scroll work around the breast area, pocket with tag area to accommodate my 1878 vintage engineers-man pocket watch. The suit also features matching pants, one and a half inch cuff. with lined and divided pockets and high waist cut to not accentuate the fact that despite being 6'2, I only have a 30 inseam. The shirt was 50% gray to bring out the white pinstripe, and a silk mint green tie topped it off, the color to match the highlights in the evening dress being worn by my lovely date. A black egyptian cotton drivers cap with a slight jaunty tilt to the side hid the bald head, and the shoes were black leather red flame by Anarchy footwear. (needed to make it look a bit interesting walking into a Ukrainian catholic church) We had gotten some great compliments on our outfits, and how the colors matched well. Which made us both smile.

The crew that were in attendance were rather enjoyable and fun people. Artists, Musicians, and just great people surrounded us the entire evening. I spent the night meeting most of them for the first time. Luckily one of the other girls dates also was new to the group so we had a commonality that allowed us to bond well.

The food was great, the music was fun, and the bar was open. Most of us just went back to the hotel afterward because we had been far to drunk to even think about driving. Luckily the hotel had a shuttle! We all piled in and continue to party until the sun was coming up!

The following day was sober up, clean up, pack up and fly on home.

I just have to say that the weekend was just what the doctor ordered! (if you couldn't tell by this long winded blog). Now that the bug has been caught I'm hoping to continue on my trend of traveling. I just talked to friends who are living in the south west of the US, and they have been talking about how great all the parks and of course the grand canyon is to see. Might be something to check into. Maybe go see the SkyWalk to see 4000ft above the Canyon. Friends in Seattle, Midwest and a variety of other locations have offered me things from couches to crash on, Hotels to room in and even flights to visit. So, now I have to do some fancy balancing of the check book to make sure I have the money for the down payment of the house, the groceries, and of course trinkets and mementos to bring back to remember the travels that i hope to never forget!

With that, I end this long blog with a wish for you and yours to have happy travels! 

Posted by: John Champlin

As society moves on, some of our beloved television shows can’t move with it. Culture and technology conspire to break sitcom plots every day. Is there any way to fix them? Here are a few examples: 
 
My Two Dads 
 
 
Premise: A woman dies leaving her daughter in the dark about who her real father is. The girl and her two possible, and very different, dads end up living together. 
Why it’s broken in 2008: Two words: Paternity test. This show would be over in one episode. 
How to fix it: Make the two dads identical twins. Make that conjoined identical twins. 
 
Bosom Buddies 
 
 
Premise: Two guys want to take advantage of the cheap rent in an all female apartment building, so they dress in drag. 
Why it’s broken in 2008: Henry and Kip would sue for reverse discrimination and get the apartment. 
How to fix it: Instead of women, the tenants are predominately cross dressing men. Kip and Henry still want the cheap apartment, but always have to be careful if the new hot girl in the building is really a dude. 
 
Three’s Company 
 
 
Premise: Two women need a third roommate to cover the rent and find one in Jack Tripper, but their righteous landlord won’t approve of the living arrangement so Jack pretends to be gay. 
Why it’s broken in 2008: To be fair, this premise was shaky already and the gay angle went away once Don Knotts became the new landlord, but it’s hard to imagine a landlord refusing to rent to a non-married couple in the 21st century. 
How to fix it: Jack is an illegal immigrant…. from another planet! 
 
I'm sure there a bunch of other ones that are eluding me at the moment, but if you can think of any others please feel free to let me know! 

Posted by: John Champlin

It took a few days of heavy game play, but I finally climbed my way to the top (literally) and won Shadows of the Colossus. 
 
 
 
Visually it was a great game. The character you play as, Wander, is nicely rendered, and the controls with the horse are an uniquely interesting aspect to game play. I had found myself watching the motions of the horse and rider more than a few times. The time and reaction from the horse to the controller is a slight delay as though you are controlling the animal through the reigns. (not bad thing).  
 
I do have to admit that I felt a bit bad about half way through the game as I was seemingly mowing down this giant creatures to bring back some girl. But, no time to worry about pixels, just climb up and stab the bastards in their glowy spots! 
 
The ending is a might be weird. Baby with horns and all that. I am curios if I did manage to stop the people from escaping the tower would there be an alternate ending. Giant monster crashing around, etc... 
 
But, I give the game a thumbs up for visuals, game play, and simplistic idea of just having a full game of minibosses, who are damn near big bosses by any other games standards. 
 

Posted by: John Champlin

You thought i might be talking about sharing the news that I had discovered the love of my life, or that I recently was voted best staring role in last nights threesome... but you are wrong.. Well, i did win the latter... But I digress. 
 
What I'm talking about is a moment I had today that nearly made me weep I was so excited.... 
 
The trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has been released! 
 
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1808404510/video/6441610 
 
Sure I'm a geek, but Indiana Jones is quite possibly my most favorite series of films in the history of filmmaking. Egads it's what my boyhood fantasies were about, being an archeologist discovering forgotten realms, adventure, fighting the dark sinister forces of the Nazi powers.  
 
Very few characters and timelines offer such a great story. The amazing brainiac adventurer, the truly evil empire of the nazi world, the mysteries of the past, and the vintage love of a world that was simpler, without technology and computers. It shaped my love for that area, the fun ideas and images of steampunk style I have, the love of archeology (which I was going to school for originally).  
 
I have found that it carried over to my love of the comic books B.P.R.D 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bureau_for_Paranormal_Research_and_Defense 
Especially now that the storylines are going back to the initial time of inception in 1946. Nazi's, ancient cultures, and me falling back into the imagination I had after watching Indiana Jones for the first time. 
 
I hope beyond hope that this movie is as good as the others, if not better. The trailer seems to having me think that it will be.  
 
So, expect me on opening night ready to see the movie that helped make me the goofball I am today! (hopefully i'll fight the urge to wear my Indi hat to the theater.) 

Posted by: John Champlin

 
I remember that I actually had to stand up and watch the Blair Witch project from the aisle as the motion sickness was so intense... I feared the same for this movie, but for some reason I didn't have a problem at all. Maybe there is truth that motion sickness is less if you have a full stomach. But, yes, I finally went and saw Cloverfield! The movie that offered me almost no information about it before opening.. just a sneak trailer with stuff exploding and a monster roaring... and I was excited as hell to see it! 
 
I for one actually liked the movie. Not sure why, maybe I have watched so many bad movies and grindhouse style monster flicks over the years that I appreciate one that doesn't try to do more than is needed, or to be something more than it's not. They wanted to created a monster film that didn't have the all to recently heavily relied upons stereotypical characters, for instance "The doctor that knows everything", of the "Crazy Zany Inventor that manages to figure how to stop them using toothpaste and bowling balls". They presented it completely and totally as a single bit of evidence for the view to just examine. It starts with the military stamp and the water mark not to distribute it... and it ends the exact same way. Shot from all the same camera, and the shakey part of the film is really why I liked it. They didn't suddenly cut to a sharp image of the monster, it was footage found after the wreakage was cleared and it was presented that way. If it suddenly had become stabalized and solid like it was moved on a dolly I for one would have lost all appeal for it. I think a movie like this has needed to be made for a while. Home videos were the wave 10 years ago, but the special effects couldn't easily master the motionmatching, now with computers we can. It's realism to the world of fantasy. So, they have a character hold the camera the entire time which is in fact 97% of the movie... I have seen so many people griping about this topic that it makes me almost laugh... arguing about why someone would be holding a camera during a major event like this is like arguing why would Anne Frank write a journal when she had to worry about nazi soldiers. Don't read to much into that sentence...I'm not say they are on the same level, but they both are documenting an event, albeit one is fictional, and without him holding the camera there really wouldn't have been a movie... would there?  
 
They choose to have the dimwitted character hold the camera, it's good, he was given a job and did it, he became accustomed to holding it for the party and by the end of the party it showed him talking with it like it wasn't there. Showing that he really almost had forgotten he had it or it was just a simple extension of him. And also, i forget but isn't there a psychological term when photo or video journalists remove themselves from extreme situations by looking through the camera (like it becomes the only means of coping). It makes it seem less real to the brain, like you aren't seeing it with your own eyes. Hud might not have been that deep of a character, but he had such a peripheral sort of personality to friends that were better and smarter than him (hell his best friend is a VP moving to Japan and that was his apartment in NYC? His best friend is HUD??) Iit seems almost natural that he would want to be filming his best friend and the girl he is interested in for others to see what he sees or is happening. His own judgements and ideas don't ever seem to be taken well or respected, and with this... he has something that is his to document and share with the world. for once, in the back of his brain he is important and has to be in the middle of everything. 
 
Of course there is also the White Man's Burden of horror flicks to deal with... And I'm not referring to Kipling's poem either. I refer to the fact that just about all white folks in horror flicks are almost always drawn to the things they shouldn't. They hear a noise and must investigate, they go and rescue their friend or lover from a scenario that puts them directly in the path of a monster, a horde of zombies, or some other entity that will make them usually end up dead or wishing they were. "The White Man's Burden" of the Horror world is to go against the seemingly sound logic of the racially non-white characters offered up in todays movie. "Don't go in there!" is the voice heard in the darkened theater.. you turn and chances are that it is a black guy giving the most sound advice he could offer... Of course the characters can't hear him on the big screen, but I swear... after dating a black girl for 4 years i come to realize that there is a difference in the races. I now walk into a dark room and hear a voice in my head that sounds remarkably like an ex saying "screw that, I'm not going there". Which fights a moment with the white urge to investigate... I am thoroughly convinced if this movie would not be able to be made if they had an all black cast. "Oh shit, there is a big damn monster, I'm outta here!". I believe if the creature reared up in Harlem and the Hud character was any sane normal black man the movie would have been over in five minutes with them filming the dumb white folks not running fast enough and followed up with documenting the luxurious and comfortable cots offered by the military for the people that were smart enough to leave asap!  
 
People have bitched about the the script and character development.. Well, the script did well considering it was following people trying to run for their lives. (or going back to save the ones that they love). They worked in some banter here and there that I thought wasn't to bad. I commented that if I had made that movie, chances are i would have had Hud saying a lot more comical sentences, but the director decided to keep Hud more quiet and reserved and only offering a few things here and there. Hell they even made the snobbish girl more likeable and amiable through the course of the movie (towards Hud/camera) so you actually felt a bit when she has whatever happens to her in the ICU. (what did happen in there.. can anyone enlighten me on that?) I think that the chances of saying anything profound or worthy of repeating when your brother, friends and possibly everyone you know is being destroyed by something your brain can't even wrap itself around, is rather slim.  
 
While the character development wasn't too bad, I did feel quite a bit for them during the movie. But this comes back to a movie not trying to be more than it is. They did enough to show them and document them during the day from hell. But, I would have hated it if they tried to squeeze in more drama to make me feel for the characters. They might have been a tad wooden, but they were enough that I watched it with interest, like someone watching a video case study but feeling and hoping that they would be okay. If they tried to make me feel for them i would have disliked them and just watched it waiting for the release of sweet death to the characters. Though to be honest, I pretty much expected them not be be shown being rescued... and kudos to them for not having a "NewsCast Style Wrap-Up" that sums up the entire movie, where the creature came from, how it was destroyed, and yada yada... Just have end at the end of the evidence footage. Maybe there will be more to come, but I really don't hope so, because nothing ruins a movie worse than a bad sequel. 
 
In the end I liked this movie. The way in which it was advertised was great! I actually was looking forward to going in and seeing a movie that I had no clue what was going to happen. Perhaps it is why I was excited to see it, but also I was fearing the worst to be let down (especially since it was pg-13). I figure I'll be saying pretty much the same thing I always say.. I usually like the movies no one else does. (i'll say the Blair Witch Project one more time just to drive the name home, "blair witch 2", one of the worst movie scripts created in the history of movie scripts) But, it was good, and i hope it does well enough that all involved are happy.  
 
All in all I give it a thumbs up for just a movie you sit down and watch and leave going.. "Huh.. that was pretty cool". I realized after I got home that I didn't even know if the small creatures seen were young, or now I am curios if they were just parasites that happened to be living on it... But it's questions like this that I like. The movie doesn't tie up loose ends, you walk away knowing only what "Cloverfield" is, and what the monster sort of looks like. You know of a few characters that die or are missing... the military tries to stop it but seems they can't. in the end you have watched evidence footage that you are open to think about and go over in your head. And that this is enjoyable for many reason for a person like me that likes to think alot about stuff. 
 
I will say this.. that I did kind of find it annoying that the big bad monster was almost everywhere at all times!... (It's like the father from 28 weeks later). You turn the corner and the big beast is walking down the street.. back the way he came, or is suddenly (and quietly) standing behind the character in a park nearly 20 feet away.. wasn't he like shaking the ground for most of the other part of the movie? Monsters are drawn to cameras and cut scenes.. this must be the rule. Although the monster was walking in the city, then attacks the bridge, and is in the city again... they never really say it but I wonder if there are multiple monsters happening there. 
 
So, if you haven't seen the movie then shame on you for reading this!!!! If you liked the movie offer a comment on it. I for one thought it was better than I expected and I hope they do well. 

Posted by: John Champlin

While strolling back from the bar last night, I had nothing to do but offer some time for quiet reflection upon the world around me, the way of the future, and as I strolled past a large and ominous church, the ideas of end-times.

It's truly funny if you think about it, that every religious group feels that the end times are near, that time to repent is now, for they know the true understanding of the world and what is happening about now and the afterlife. What also urks me is that none of them fight a fraction for the world they live in now, all for this afterlife which no one truly knows anything about. You would think that life in the here and now, where you can see, touch, feel, and live would be a priority... but no, this life doesn't matter it's the possible second one and the end of this that truly is their focus. And usually the focus falls on the End of times.

There are a lot of apocalyptic scenarios looming out there, in various religious sects in the nooks and crannies of history. Though the scenarios are wildly different in method, you can rest assured that most will leave us all equally dead.

While we can't know which one is actually going to happen, here are the ones we're rooting for, along with the heavy metal album cover each most resembles.

Judgment Day

Source: Christian New Testament

What to watch for:
Four guys on a multicolored assortment of horses will charge across the world, spreading War, Famine, Pestilence and Death. In other words, things will look exactly like they do now, so you'll need to actually see the horses to know something is up.

What comes next:
Few denominations can agree on what happens, and when. The basic idea that while we all play "Spot the Antichrist" amid the tornadoes and earthquakes, pretty much every comet in the universe hits Earth, turning the rivers and seas to poison blood. Mankind fights a gargantuan war involving 200 million soldiers. Then, invincible scorpion locusts swarm across the land, stinging the crap out of everyone who hasn't been marked by God.

Satan walks the Earth. Then, after a period of time somewhere between seven to 1,000 years, Jesus returns with tears of love in his eyes, and gives everyone a pass to Heaven.

Ha, no, we were kidding. The Good Shepherd divides the survivors into "sheep" and "goats." Guess which group spends an eternity in everlasting fire.

Can you survive it?
The Christian apocalypse is tricky. Some sects say the believers will be sucked off Earth before any of the most terrible stuff happens, leaving the other 99 percent of humanity to suffer the millennium of unspeakable horrors. Others think the believers will be left to do battle with Satan's hordes along with the rest of the godless heathens.

Luckily, according to the Bible, all this can only come when no one is expecting it. So we're safe for now, thanks to this article.

A heavy metal album cover for reference:
Iron Maiden - The Number of the Beast



The Coming of Gochihr

Source: The ancient Persian religion of Zoroastrianism.

What to watch for:
A comet named Gochihr strikes Earth, causing the human race to act "like a sheep being attacked by a wolf."

What comes next:
Waves of holy, molten metal ripple across the entire surface of the world. All people, living and dead, will be judged. Those who have spent their time feeding the poor and not making fun of people with bad haircuts will be able to swim around in the lava-like "warm milk." The heartless ones, such as murderers and cruel reality-show judges, will be burned until their sins are gone. Most of us will wind up doing the flaming backstroke long before the screaming stops.

As the burning continues, a virgin-born man named Saoshyant, or "one who brings benefit", will defeat the forces of evil and usher in a perfect world where no one ever suffers or dies.

Can you survive it?
Sure. Even the worst cat-raping bastard is only looking at three days of agony, followed by eternal paradise once all the bad parts are gone. It's fairly easy to see why Zoroastrianism makes the followers of newer religions irritable.

A heavy metal album cover for reference:
DragonForce - Sonic Firestorm



The Return of Pahana

Source: The Hopi tribe of Native-Americans

What to watch for:
The arrival of white men in the lands of the Hopi Indians, taking land that isn't theirs and killing their enemies with hand-held thunder.

Wait a minute.

Uh oh.

What comes next:
It looks like we got to this prophecy a little late. The foretold snakes of iron, electronic spider webs and rivers of stone have already crossed the world and the seas are already polluted. Some people say the ninth and final sign, a "dwelling place in the stars falling to earth," happened in 1979 when Skylab crash-landed in Australia. Hopi prophecy states that World War III will be started by the people who first received the Light -- China, Palestine, India and Africa. When the war comes, the United States will be destroyed by "gourds of ashes" which will fall to the ground, boiling the rivers and burning the earth, where no grass will grow for many years, and causing a disease that no medicine can cure.... yeah.. I'm getting "Atomic Gourds" written all over this baby.

All that's left is the great wars between the White Man and his enemy in the deserts-

Goddammit.

Can you survive it?
The Hopi were polite enough to provide this part for us. According to prophecy, those who wish to avoid all the diseases and destruction should move to the lands of the Hopi. The bad news: "the lands of the Hopi" means Arizona. The good news: It's only temporary. Any day now, the Hopi are expecting the return of Pahana, or the "lost white brother" from the stars that left them thousands of years ago. When he descends, the survivors become wise and start making the world a better place.

Still, Arizona.

A heavy metal album cover for reference:
Iron Maiden - Brave New World



Nahui Ollin – The End of the Fifth Era

Source: Aztec mythology (Man, the Aztecs didn't fuck around. Apocalypses were routine with these guys. We're thinking the Aztec prophets couldn't make headlines unless they predicted the world wasn't going to end the next year.)

What to watch for:
A total solar eclipse lasting forever. This happens because the Aztec nation was destroyed by Spanish invaders in the 1500s, and hasn't been feeding Nanahuatzin, or the Sun, the human sacrifices he needs to stay healthy and strong. Good going, Spain.

What comes next:
According to most early Central American cultures, the world has already ended four to five times, by methods ranging from flood to armies of hungry jaguars. Our world will apparently get the terrifying Tzitzimime, depicted as either skeletons with rattlesnake penises, or a race of bony, female spider monsters from the stars.

The Aztecs believed the sun would have saved us from the Tzitzimime, had they been allowed to keep feeding it human hearts. But, of course, fucking Spain came along.

Can you survive it?
Read the last description of the Tzitzimime above. Do the bony, spider creatures sound familiar at all?



Yeah. So it's these things, or the army of skeleton monsters. Almost a coin toss.

We won't pull any punches: It's been 500 years since our last heart donation, so the Tzitzimime are long overdue. Today, most humans are too selfish to donate our organs to science, so forget appeasing the wrathful gods. And, we won't even stop driving our SUVs to avert the sun's wrath, so forget about any crash programs to ramp up the human sacrifices.

Maybe Sigourney Weaver will come along and battle their queen from a construction bot, but we're thinking we need to get the hell off this planet anyway, just to be safe. Though our warp engines might tear a passage through to hell or our own ship's artificial intelligence may decide that human life must be extinguished, we have to take the risk because those Aztec gods just do not give a fuck.

A heavy metal album cover for reference:
Helloween - Walls of Jericho



And Now My Personal Favorite
Ragnarök

Source: Norse Mythology (and my brother Joe)

What to watch for:
A three-season-long winter. Of course, with all the mindless killing we'll be doing, we'll barely notice.

What comes next:
Wolves eat the sun, Norse Trickster God Loki escapes from ropes made of his son's intestines and hijacks a ship made of dead men's toenails, and Jörmungandr, the World Serpent, rises from the oceans and spews poison across the lands and skies. Regardless of the fact that they know full well how the whole damn thing is going to end, the gods stab, poison, burn and eat each other until Earth sinks into the ocean.

Can you survive it?
We have a really narrow window here. The short version is that this is all Loki's fault, despite that he's currently tied up beneath the world getting venom dripped into his eyes. Once he gets free, you can't turn around anywhere on Earth without bumping into dragons, fallen world trees and cowardly Viking zombies.

Only two humans, Lif and Lifthrasir, are scheduled to survive Ragnarök by hiding in the Yggdrasil, the world tree. It stands to reason that a tree large enough to connect hell, Earth and the heavens together would have plenty of places to hide, though.

With cast members like Odin All-Father, Norse Thunder God Thor, and Fenrir, a wolf so large that he has to crouch not to leave Earth's atmosphere, it'll be like the drawing on the back of every fantasy geek's notebook has suddenly sprung to life. This is the only apocalypse that ends with blood arcing through the air in slow motion while someone screams "Heimdall! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Heavy metal album covers for reference: (oh, there are SOOO many to choose from)

Hammerfall - Renegade
Manowar - Warriors of the World
Cannibal Corpse - Gore Obsessed
DragonForce - Valley of the Damned
And lets not forget
Dio - The Very Beast of Dio


Okay, I now return you to your regularly scheduled lives, and watch out cause i heard from a friends brothers cousin that he knows that the END IS HERE!!!! because he saw it in a dream, or on Vh-1... Either way.. Totally believe the dude. 

Posted by: John Champlin

 
 
I figured I would take a quick moment and type up a quick impromptu review of a product that I have really been impressed with so far. This would be my new microphone. 
 
Well, after plugging and playing with a zillion Microphones for both podcasts, skype interviews, recording interviews of witnesses, and even field tests for EVP, I have found one that I really do love. I'll include my runner up so you can have a comparison so I don't just offer praise to one without another. (i haven't captured any EVPs with any yet to tell exactly what that will sound like.. if you can make the spooky disembodied voices help me out a bit I'll be very grateful) 
 
I'm actually going to skip anything here that needed phantom power, as they all worked about the same. My new rule of thumb is this: If the price range is similar it seems the recording capabilities are similar with the phantom power required condenser Mics. 
 
So... here ya go! 
 
Magnus' choice for the Best USB plug&play condenser Microphones 
 
The Runner Up: 
The Great podcaster Doug of Ghostly talk (www.ghostlytalk.com) had mentioned on the show with Barbara McBeath about some of the Condenser USB plug & play Mics. Specifically he had mentioned, the Samson CO1U USB Condenser Mic, which he had recently purchased. 
 
This is indeed a nice little microphone for those starting out and don't want to get into the heavy prices of full blown condenser mics that you used to see in the old days. The cost is less than 80 bucks, it offers a great condenser mic for the buck, with a darn near crystal clear sound. And it's standard shape seems fitting when placing it in front of radio guests or walking around and recording random items. Using the Spider Mount did remove some low hums and just made it look that much cooler. Total price for this with mount and goodies... like 115 bucks (including shipping from an Amazon.com dealer as zZounds.com was out). 
 
It is only 2 pounds, so not to bad for the first of it's kind. But, it has a Cardioid pickup pattern, so it's for stuff right in front... and, just cause I'm a stylish fellow, it didn't really win me over for looks and design.. But, I still suggest this as a nice alternative to anything else out there for the price. 
 
In fact I had a person buy mine off me after i was done testing it (even sale, so i'm back to zero.. hehe). Which was fine... though, i'm really thinking of picking another one up for a back up mic and traveling system in case my new main one should fail. 
 
In fact, if you check out the site ZZounds, they are offering one hell of a deal on it. 
http://www.zzounds.com/item--SAMC01UCW 
 
It's the mic, a base, the spider mount, the cable, all in a really impressive looking silver case with foam fit! All for the price of $89 plus shipping (2 day is like 6.99)! Seriously! Check that out, but, they are out till mid march, so you will have to preorder it. 
 
To be honest, The Samson worked about the same (little less quality though) as the Rode Podcaster Dynamic USB Microphone. Rode had a better sound and better frequency response. But, for the price difference I can understand, the cost was significantly more for the Rode mic. Rode cost a little over 200 dollars for the Mic with little to no extras. This one was a cute design, but couldn't shake the feeling that it was "ribbed for my pleasure". Would rather get three Samson CO1Us for the price of one Rode. 
 
I give the Samson CO1U runner up only because I really really really enjoy this other new microphone and offers a special feature that works GREAT for field work. If it wasn't for this nice option available in this next mic I would have said this was the winner (and i will be purchasing one of the Samson's again since I do like the size and portability. So that should offer you a glimmer of buyer satisfaction. hehe.) 
 
So, my winner is this! 
 
Blue's SnowBall USB Condenser Microphone 
http://www.bluemic.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Products&file=index&prod_id=18 
 
Normally selling for 150 bucks you can actually purchase them for about 90 dollars at a few choice places. I actually called a place in PA and got a great deal on a bundle price. 
 
So, the SnowBall is the microphone that has won me over with it's sound, capabilities and overall design. It's not small, but i kinda like that in my microphone. I am now in love with my new Microphone (though, I did need to get the firmware update to increase it's capabilities). 
 
The reason why I love it you may ask? It is a multi-pattern condenser mic! So you have the option of using it with an omnidirectional or cardiod pick up pattern. In simplified terms, that means the microphone can pick up audio from either the area in front of it (cardiod), or from all around! Seriously and Omnidirectional Condenser Mic that is USB Plug and Play!!! 
 
There are three settings on this mic: 
 
first setting is the Cardiod setting, so I get the sound from the front of the sphere with an amazingly nice sounding condenser mic... with hardly any ambient room sounds. 
 
Second setting is the same at the first but with a -10db reducer on there for loud people or singers. (something I don't need). 
 
Third switch setting (and you will love this) switches it on so that you can now hear the ambient room sounds with surprising results. It is still focused more on the front of the mic, but it picks up a lot of great sounds behind it and from the room. So, you guessed it... A microphone that seems like a great addition to any EVP hunter that wants a condenser mic but only totes along a laptop and no plug box for powered mics. 
 
While I haven't picked up the float mount call "The Ringer", I am going to. As it looks really cool and I have tested out another Blue mic that had it, and it did work great. 
 
Including The Ringer, SnowBalls almost twice the price of the Samson C01U, but... you get almost 2 mics for the price of one. Some might feel the downside to this microphone is that the "ball" itself is the size of a large grapefruit, but I feel that what it can do, it's my new favorite. 
 
Well, there is my review of the top Mics I have worked with so far. Not that I have much to show for it, but I really do feel that the SnowBall offers me some great options that can't be found elsewhere. 
 
For my podcasts, my paranormal excursions, and just about everything else I'll be bringing along my Blue Snowball microphone. 

Posted by: John Champlin

Okay... we know that that actually never happened. At no point in the history of aviation was there a time where airports security was enjoyable for any party involved. 
 
It is actually documented in the Wright Bros journal that the legendary flight at Kitty Hawk was delayed by 40 minutes because Orval had forgotten to take a screwdriver out of his pocket before walking through the metal detector.  
 
So, i thought I would take a moment to share with you lovely readers my Flying and Fun with Airport Security Story: 
 
So.. There I was in the airport. The destination I was going to eludes me now.  
 
I was flagged already, meaning I won the crap lotto and I was going to get checked by security at every point possible along my days travels. I had been talking to the 3 security guards in a pleasant way as they took all my belongings out of my bag, and looked at them as though they are about to bid on them in an auction. I had stood in the chamber of air-blowing spooky doom that resembles a large pneumatic system for mail, I half expected that any moment it would shoot me in a series of twisty turns to my final destination or a garbage compactor on level 3. During the whole procedure I was very pleasant, joking and talking with all the people. I knew they were busy, and they didn't' need any more shit from me. They recognized i wasn't acting too weird, and seem to appreciate it greatly. I had been telling them about random stuff, odd news, and just light-hearted banter, had them laughing saying I was a highlight of their horrible day... That is when the chemical alert alarms go haywire. Apparently there are certain chemicals that are on the list that make a lot of lights happen, sirens go off, and security guards need a change of underwear. 
 
I literally had 4 security guys come out of nowhere and push me back (gently at least) towards the wall, where two of them pressed against my shoulders, hand on their guns, and the other two proceeded to pat me down. They reached into my pockets and I think started to remove my belt.. but I could just be flashing back to a horrible prison rape scene from a movie I saw once. There were 4 other security guards looking at the machine and handling my camera turning it over, taking it apart, looking at the batteries. An additional two guards were standing in front of the machine talking into phones, they kept calling for the manager in a weird hushed tone.. but in a louder tone where wondering if they should call his superior "in the capital". 
 
Luckily the manager appeared in a calm and less than impressive entrance. He was a middle aged little guy with bright red hair. The moment he appears half the guards either relaxed while the others began to slightly drool at the mouth as if they were waiting for his orders to open fire with extreme pleasure. 
 
The manager walks up and looks at me and says..  
"huh.. your a redhead. Do you burn easy?"  
 
I look at him wondering if this is some sort of secret code that i need to answer correctly or they give the order to shoot. "The Elephant Walks In Pajamas at Midnight", he could have uttered and it would have made as much sense to me as what he had just said. 
 
"uh.. yeah. I'm a lobster in 10 minutes in the sun." was my reply.  
 
"Ahh.. Well, that's probably it." as he turns to the first three people I was talking with and asks "How was he before the alarm went off?" They all muttered that I was acting fine, joking and talking. completely out of the ordinary compared to the rest of the angry society passing before them. 
 
"Well, i burn like crazy, and these folks who tan or don't burn haven't a clue what it's like. The sun-block we have to use is pretty powerful stuff with lots of odd chemicals. HomeLand security hasn't figured that out yet... Sorry about all that." With that he turned and walked away. the guards holding me towards the wall looked me over once and turned and left as well. Leaving me there oddly alone and thinking that with that much physical contact one of us should have gotten the others number or something.  
 
Who knew that there is some sort of sunscreen/soap/or lotion that i once used (don't even know which) that had found it's way onto my camera and a few other items that kept me from burning... this same lotion would have the airport security chemical sniffing machine go haywire and had security swarm around me like a chocolate vendor at a jenny craig convention.. 

Posted by: John Champlin

 
 
MS paint really doesn't allow you to do to much.. but, it's actually more than what Mac has built in. So, I bring forth the statement to the masses about eating health food. 

Posted by: John Champlin

What is a "That Guy"? A That Guy is a B-list character actor who's just talented enough to secure bit parts in a handful of movies every year, but not quite talented enough to become a brand-name star like Chris Kattan. Some specialize in playing villains and others in having freaky-enormous chest tattoos, but combined, these brave, barely handsome men have appeared in every single movie produced in the last decade. 
 
 
#20 
DAVID MORSE 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
The Rock, 16 Blocks, The Green Mile, Proof of Life, 12 Monkeys, a bunch of other movies where he plays a psychotic government employee. 
 
Special Moves 
Being this close to jumping over this desk/car/boulder/pile of corpses and ferociously beating your face into the carpet. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Russell Crowe 
 
#19 
PHILIP BAKER HALL 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
Boogie Nights, Seinfeld, Ghostbusters 2, literally every hour-long TV drama about lawyers. There are honestly too many to list here. 
 
Special Moves 
Thinking you’re a worthless longhaired hippie punk, and not being afraid to tell you as much to your worthless longhaired hippie punk face. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
James Coburn. (Needless to say, Hall has been called more frequently now that James Coburn is dead.) 
 
#18 
JOAQUIM DE ALMEIDA 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
Clear and Present Danger, Desperado, 24, Behind Enemy Lines, his ruthless iron grip on the world of international drug trafficking. 
 
Special Moves 
Using his lack of a conscience to rise to power in the ruthless world of drugs/international espionage/banging chicks that are hotter than him. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Al Pacino without eyebrows or, alternatively, Gabriel Byrne with a terrible Portuguese accent 
 
#17 
DYLAN BAKER 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
Spider-Man 2, Kinsey, Road to Perdition, countless shitty TV shows. 
 
Special Moves 
Indignantly pointing his finger at people, rubbing their mistakes in their faces, wearing bowties, making people pay (within the law), penis envy. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Conan O'brien 
 
#16 
KEITH DAVID 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
Men at Work, Road House, Platoon, Barbershop, Armageddon, the 1980 blockbuster Disco Godfather. How about those Army ads? "if someone wrote a book of your life" sort of things. And my personal favorite the voice of Goliath from Gargoyles. 
 
Special Moves 
Not giving a shit about anything other than completing the duty/assignment/trash pickup assigned to him. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Louis Gossett, Jr. 
 
#15 
DANNY TREJO 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
Desperado, Grindhouse, The Devil’s Rejects, xXx, Con Air, Heat, your worst nightmares. Seriously the guy scares me...  
 
Special Moves 
Knife throwing, gun shooting, bartending, and face kicking, all while not speaking and sometimes simultaneously. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Rosie Perez 
 
#14 
NOAH EMMERICH 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
Miracle, Beautiful Girls, The Truman Show, Cop Land, punching your nuts and taking your lunch money in elementary school. 
 
Special Moves 
Really swell guys with bad skin, really good friends with bad skin, really husky everymen with bad skin. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Chemically burned Jon Favreau 
 
#13 
TOM WILKINSON 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
Batman Begins, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Patriot, Rush Hour, The Full Monty, being a dead ringer for at least one teacher in every high school in America. 
 
Special Moves 
Obese, selfish slobs. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Jon Voight 
 
#12 
JK SIMMONS 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
Spider-Man, Thank You for Smoking, Law & Order (all three, seriously), Oz, The Jackal, poignantly capturing the essence of Ralph Earnhardt in the ESPN Films masterpiece, 3: The Dale Earnhardt Story. 
 
Special Moves 
Dispensing tough, well-informed love at top speed, top volume, and top borderline sarcasm. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Ed Harris 
 
#11 
WILLIAM FICHTNER 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
Prison Break, The Longest Yard, Crash, Black Hawk Down, Pearl Harbor, The Perfect Storm, Armageddon, 12,348 other movies and TV shows about something that’s 40 times more manly than you’ve ever done. although, there was a scene in which he has small poodles and demands them to "pull daddy like a pony" which takes away man of his more manly things ever done. 
 
Special Moves 
Pricks in uniform, cowards in uniform, assholes in uniform, shitheads in uniform, douchebags in uniform, fishermen who drown in uniform.  
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Kevin Bacon 
 
#10 
JOHN HEARD 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
His tour de force role as the dad in Home Alone guaranteed him a lifetime of supporting roles in mildly entertaining TV shows and movies (with the exception of The Sopranos, which, of course, is the one drop-dead awesome show he’s been on.) 
 
Special Moves 
Reminding you of a kindly but stern amalgamation of all your friends’ dads. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Tim Allen 
 
#9 
ZELJKO IVANEK 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
His lifeless, skull-like face and cold, dead eyes haunting your dreams. Also, because he’s appeared in every single TV law-enforcement drama, including, but not limited to, CSI, Shark, Cold Case, Bones, Law & Order, Law & Order SVU, NYPD Blue, Oz, The Practice, 24, Homicide: Life on the Street, and Frasier. 
 
Special Moves 
Imagine the lawyer/prosecutor/accountant you’d most dread seeing across the table from you. Okay, got it? It’s this guy, isn’t it? I know—freaky, right? 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Viggo from Ghostbusters II (he’s very busy) 
 
#8 
RICHARD JENKINS 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
Six Feet Under, I Heart Huckabees, Me. Myself & Irene, Intolerable Cruelty, and a bunch of stupid bullshit like Rumor Has It…. And a creepy version of my secretary's husband 
 
Special Moves 
Talking while eating and/or always sporting an expression of detached, judgmental contempt.  
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Tommy Lee Jones 
 
#7 
PETER STORMARE 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
The Big Lebowski, Prison Break, Bad Boys II, Minority Report, Armageddon, and instilling an intense fear of wood-chippers in you in Fargo. 
 
Special Moves  
Believing in nothing, severing pinkie toes, and just generally giving off the impression that he’s committed a couple of sex crimes lately. Although, he is still known to be a wery big hero in his home country. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Eastern European Bruce Willis 
 
#6 
DAVID PAYMER 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
City Slickers, In Good Company, Payback, Get Shorty, Quiz Show, and every stereotypical caricature of Jewish people you’ve ever seen. 
 
Special Moves 
Bringing tears to your eyes with his heart wrenching portrayals of down-on-their-luck losers who’ll never know the touch of a woman and die alone. That, and looking really, really Jewish. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Clinically depressed Jon Lovitz 
 
#5 
LANE SMITH 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
The Mighty Ducks, Son in Law, My Cousin Vinny, Lois & Clark, The Mighty Ducks, The Legend of Bagger Vance, The Mighty Ducks, The Mighty Ducks. It’s the evil youth hockey coach from The Mighty Ducks! 
 
Special Moves 
Looking like he’s always about to knock you unconscious with a savage backhand that’s for your own damn good. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Gene Hackman 
 
#4 
STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
Deadwood, Memento, Groundhog Day, CSI: Miami, Murder in the First, Thelma & Louise, and that one really hilarious episode of Reba. Also, i feel his famous moment was in SpaceBall when he angrily discovers that they had captured the stunt doubles. 
 
Special Moves 
No matter what your normal propensity for violence is, the mere sight of Stephen Tobolowsky has been scientifically proven to make you want to roundhouse kick his nose through the back of his bald, smarmy skull. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
William H. Macy 
 
#3 
JT WALSH 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
A Few Good Men, Hoffa, Blue Chips, The Client, Pleasantville, Outbreak, Sling Blade, Backdraft, Good Morning Vietnam, that time he showed up at your dorm in college, cheated everyone out of their money, ratted them out, then disappeared into the foggy, ink-dark night. Sadly dead now, but lives on in his evil roles on DVD. 
 
Special Moves 
Slimy, stubborn, unethical dirt bags that you wouldn’t leave alone in the same room as your kid/dog/wallet. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Evil Beau Bridges 
 
#2 
JAMES REBHORN 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
Meet the Parents, Independence Day, Carlito’s Way, Scent of a Woman, My Cousin Vinny, the picture next to the definition of “tight assed authority figure” in the dictionary. 
 
Special Moves 
Filling the roles that our #1 That Guy doesn’t have time for. Then, channeling his seething resentment for Cromwell into an acting style that portrays each and every character as an enormous prick whether or not the script calls for it. Case and point: in the script for Scent of a Woman, the principal was supposed to befriend Charlie and invite him and the Colonel over for hot chocolate at the end of the film. Rebhorn’s Cromwell envy, however, facilitated an entirely different outcome which facilitated that completely nonsensical Al Pacino rant. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
James Cromwell 
 
 
#1 
JAMES CROMWELL, KING OF THE THAT GUYS 
 
You Might Know Him From... 
Come on—you know you know this dude. He’s such a good “That Guy” that he’s almost actually famous. Almost.  
 
Special Moves 
Everything. You need smug? Cromwell’s got smug. You need flippant? Well, ol’ Crommie’s got that too. In fact, some conspiracy theorists contend that James Cromwell is the Voltron of That Guys—that he’s actually an 80-foot tall physical combination of the other 19 men on this list; a massive, indestructible character actor endowed with the specific talents of all other That Guys. 
 
As the theory goes, The Cromwell boasts Stephen Tobolowsky’s annoyingness, Lane Smith’s thinly veiled bloodthirstiness, John Heard’s fatherliness, Danny Trejo’s massive chest tattoos, and, of course, William Fichtner is curled up in the fetal position on The Cromwell’s face to make the nose. The end result? A guy who, in all seriousness, has never not been in a movie. That'll do pig.. that'll do. 
 
Is a Poor Man's... 
Anybody. The Cromwell can play any role well enough to get the job done, but just poorly enough to avoid becoming famous. In fact, some of The Cromwell’s lesser-known roles include Arnold Schwarzenegger’s female love interest in Commando and Carl Weathers’ body double in Rocky III. 
 

Posted by: John Champlin

Something I think we all need to know more about. 
 
 

Posted by: John Champlin

Rather than a rant or story, I shall share with you a list of 33 things that you might not have known had names. 
 
Enjoy your educational blog for the day. 
 
1. AGLET - The plain or ornamental covering on the end of a shoelace. 
2. ARMSAYE - The armhole in clothing. 
3. CHANKING - Spat-out food, such as rinds or pits. 
4. COLUMELLA NASI - The bottom part of the nose between the nostrils. 
5. DRAGÉES - Small beadlike pieces of candy, usually silver-coloured, used for decorating cookies, cakes and sundaes. 
6. FEAT - A dangling curl of hair. 
7. FERRULE - The metal band on a pencil that holds the eraser in place. 
8. HARP - The small metal hoop that supports a lampshade. 
9. HEMIDEMISEMIQUAVER - A 64th note. (A 32nd is a demisemiquaver, and a 16th note is a semiquaver.) 
10. JARNS, 
11. NITTLES, 
12. GRAWLIX, 
13. QUIMP - These last 4 words are the various squiggles used to denote cussing in comic books. 
14. KEEPER - The loop on a belt that keeps the end in place after it has passed through the buckle. 
15. KICK or PUNT - The indentation at the bottom of some wine bottles. It gives added strength to the bottle but lessens its holding capacity. 
16. LIRIPIPE - The long tail on a graduate's academic hood. 
17. MINIMUS - The little finger or toe. 
18. NEF - An ornamental stand in the shape of a ship. 
19. OBDORMITION - The numbness caused by pressure on a nerve; when a limb is 'asleep'. 
20. OCTOTHORPE - The symbol '#' on a telephone handset. Bell Labs' engineer Don Macpherson created the word in the 1960s by combining octo-, as in eight, with the name of one of his favourite athletes, 1912 Olympic decathlon champion Jim Thorpe. 
21. OPHRYON - The space between the eyebrows on a line with the top of the eye sockets. 
22. PEEN - The end of a hammer head opposite the striking face. 
23. PHOSPHENES - The lights you see when you close your eyes hard. Technically the luminous impressions are due to the excitation of the retina caused by pressure on the eyeball. 
24. PURLICUE - The space between the thumb and extended forefinger. 
25. RASCETA - Creases on the inside of the wrist. 
26. ROWEL - The revolving star on the back of a cowboy's spurs. 
27. SADDLE - The rounded part on the top of a matchbook. 
28. SCROOP - The rustle of silk. 
29. SNORKEL BOX - A mailbox with a protruding receiver to allow people to deposit mail without leaving their cars. 
30. SPRAINTS - Otter dung. 
31. TANG - The projecting prong on a tool or instrument. 
32. WAMBLE - Stomach rumbling. 
33. ZARF - A holder for a handleless coffee cup. 

Posted by: John Champlin

Well.. the office has a handful of iPhones since we are a mac developer after all... Try as I might to pretend I don't like them... I can't.  
 
They are pretty damn cool, the screen is amazing, and I do think that it will change the way people have and use computers in their daily life.  
 
Will I get one. Not unless it's given to me I think. Plus I wouldn't mind waiting for the next few generations to see what they offer. 
 
But, if you get a chance to play with one I HIGHLY recommend it. It's a bit of technology that you will have to see to really believe. 

Posted by: John Champlin